Looking Back On My Forties and Single Motherhood

Today I shall be celebrating all the amazing things that happened in my naughty forties before I ring in the start to my fabulous fifties.

First and foremost the BEST thing that I was blessed with in my forties was the little firecracker that is Josh. Going into single motherhood for the second time as a 41 year old, I knew it was going to be really hard mentally, physically and financially.

I had been counting down the years to my eldest leaving school so that I would be able to travel again. She was 13. I just needed to wait a few more years. I was restless. Before she was born I was never at home. Always out socialising or away travelling. Always seeking the next adventure, being spontaneous, just being free.

As I was growing up I used to tell myself “I never want to be a single mum”. Well guess what? You get what you focus on, so I got it twice. The universe/your brain/God or whoever and whatever you believe in, only understands what you are focusing on and I was focusing on “single mum”. The words around it don’t matter. What I should have been focusing on was a loving family environment, being in love, being happy, safe etc.

It worked the same the other way round. When my daughter and I would drive past the local private girls school on our way to her junior school, I would say to her “you’re going to go there” and she would say “I know”. Not only did she pass the entrance exam with no private tuition (which other Mum’s said could not be done), we were also one of the two families to receive 100% bursary.

Now tell me The Law of Attraction doesn’t work.

Anyway I have digressed “šŸ¤£”

I split up with the father’s of my kids while I was pregnant both times. Neither of them were at the birth, neither of them gave us financial support, ever! I made the decision to split up with them while I was pregnant because I knew that if my kids had them as a role model, they would be doomed. I wanted them to have the best chance in life and having them around didn’t allow for that. I could have had it so much easier, but I chose the hard way because I knew it was the best way. And my kids deserve the best.

Of course I have suffered from depression, yes I enjoy alcohol and yes i do still smoke cigarettes. No, I don’t go to the gym, my house could be tidier, I wear clothes from Primark and off the pound rail at the charity shop, I am behind on bills, my dog needs dental work which I can’t afford and I have tried many different businesses and ways to improve our standard of living.

But one thing my Mum and one of my (3) best friends said to me is that I never give up. No matter how hard life punches me in the face and knocks me down, I get back up stronger, wiser and more determined to find a way for (financially) poor, single mothers to claw their way back to independence and freedom and to live the life of their dreams. Once I figure it out, I am going to change the outlook for single mums forever.

You may be wondering how I have managed so many amazing trips, cruises, meals out and events during this time if my financial situation was so bleak. Well, quite simply they were mostly perks of the job, as a travel agent and as a cruise blogger.

Don’t forget what I said earlier, you get what you focus on. I am OBSESSED with travel, so my brain/universe/God or reticular activating system (RAS) finds a way to make it happen. That is when you start seeing miracles happen in your life.

DARE TO DREAM because no one is coming to save you. You are the the master of your fate and the captain of your soul.

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